Defeated

Defeated.

Nuff said.

To be continued...............

30 has come.....Fresh start?

So Friday was my 30th birthday and I was pretty disgusted with the way that I looked. I have lost and gained the same five pounds over the past 6 months. It's pretty frustrating. At the same time though I have done nothing to help the process. We eat healthier as a family but still slip up and have the sweets and cook with things we should avoid. I am a bit more determined now to get it together. I always say that and then nothing changes. My sister wants to lose weight so I am hoping I can find a support partner in her.

Maybe slimming a bit by Christmas would be a good new goal? Although the holidays are a really hard time to diet. ugh.

Epic fail

So, I turn 30 in one week and am heavier than I have ever been in my life.

I weighed myself the other day and felt a lump form in my throat. I can not believe that I let myself get to this weight. I promised Ben that I would never "let myself go" after having kids. Over the last year, that is exactly what I did. I'm not sure if it has to do with not working, being done with school, or just all the awful things that have happened in life but something is holding me back.

It's pure laziness on my part. I have lots of time to exercise and I don't. I have tons of healthy food around me and chose to eat junk.

This has got to change. I'm just not sure how I can do it alone.

Back on the wagon

I am back on the wagon and lost three pounds.

It's crunch time.

More to come...............

Trying something new...

Thank you Jill for turning me on to Medifast.

Ben's step mom brought me a box a Medifast food and drink to help with my weight loss/get healthy goal.

I plan to try the plan next week. That gives me the weekend to do my homework and read the book explaining the details of the plan.

We are packing and getting ready for our move. I can't wait to move and get my elliptical. Worked out on it last week with Jess and felt pretty great afterwards.

Got a beautiful bikini as inspiration.

Life gets in the way

Life lately has gotten in the way of my excercise plans.

We are facing a move, huge financial woes, and downsizing....big time.

On a happier note......My super wonderful good friend is selling me an elliptical for cheap. CAN NOT wait to start working out on it!

Always have to find a silver lining...................

Losing llllbbbsss!

Down 3 pounds.

Wish it was more.....BUT........happy with a little weight loss.

My dermatologists office thought I was nuts weighing myself and jumping with delight this morning.

Whatever. Happy me.

My fitness inspiration....

Reese Witherspoon has two kids and a normal, healthy body. This is who I aspire to look like (fitness wise).

Outside influences?

When I started this process I never knew how much outside influences would affect me. Life in general seems to effect the way that I feel towards working out each day. I feel so weighed down by the issues in my life. Then a sadness sets in and I would rather wallow in what feels like the end of the world then to get up and exercise.

Today I had a huge fight with my sister. I feel bad for the things that were said but feel good for saying some things that needed to be said. She believes that I am jealous of her. For dating my ex boyfriend? Its crazy. But maybe there is a subconscious jealousy. Who knows.

I feel selfish for taking the time from the boys to work out. i can't always work out with them. And when Oliver decides he is going to nap, sometimes i am so exhausted I cant even imagine working out.

Sorry for the delay.........

So.....
I have not been slacking in my weight loss goals. I have been making a point to do something physical each day. Wii sports seems to be very popular in our home lately. I have been trying to get Ben to buy Wii fit....but he basically ignores the request. lol.

I walked to get Carter from school a few days in the past two weeks. Oliver ends up covered in mud but the exercise is worth it.

Loving the warmer weather and plan to run today when Ben gets home from work.

Making BLT's for the boys for dinner.....I'll be eating a Lean Cuisine. ugh.

The weekend

Last week I put some of this hard core weight loss on hold due to worries about my grandma.

This weekend we were back on track though. I am proud of the good food choices that I made but I am still finding it super hard to get motivated to workout. I really need someone to work out with. A schedule to follow. I would love to get up super early and work out before the kids are awake and Ben leaves for work.

Ben made amazing enchiladas for dinner last night. We ate them again for lunch and dinner tonight. At least I made a huge fruit salad to go with it.

I really need some tips for healthy lunches and snacks for myself.

On a side note....Carter wanted to make cookies today. I only ate two.....

Day 1= FAIL!

So..I started my day with great intentions.
Vitamins -check
Coffee-check
Lean cuisine for lunch-check
Salad for dinner-check
Walked to get C from school-check

(Never did the Jillian dvd.) fail.

And then as I sat in my room hiding from cold germs(Ben was sleeping in the living room in an attempt to keep us all germ free). Switched on the Charlie Sheen interview and next thing I knew...I was munching on Lemonades Girl Scout Cookies. Ugh.

Today is a new day though. Oli and I are going to head to Kids in Motion to get mom in motion.

This really is harder then I thought. Old habits die hard.

Today is the day....

I told myself that March 1st would be a good day to start. No case of the Mondays to use as an excuse.

I woke up this morning (honestly was up half the night) and put on my game face. lol.

Mary(Ben's mom) gave me vitamins to take daily. They are a two packets of pills for morning and night. Five pills each. I choked down the first five for this morning. Followed with cup of coffee number two. For the day I am already at 50 calories. Aiming for 1500. We will see how that goes on day one.

Pulled out the Jillian 30 minute shred dvd to do when Oli naps. The plan is to do that daily as well as some other sort of ab workout.

I figure the easiest way for me to jump start my weight loss is to stick to fruits and veggies and water. I have a slight addiction to carbonation so I am sure I will have to allow myself my Diet Dr. Pepper later today.

Still looking into classes to take that will work with the family schedule...I really want to try a spin class.

Maybe some Wii boxing with Carter later........

Lord help me.

Today I am trying to figure out how to start this journey. I seems so hard to make such drastic changes in my life. I look around me at all the healthy people who eat what they are supposed to and exercise daily, and wonder how they get motivated.

I sit hear with my cup of coffee (with fat free creamer and truvia sweetener) and wonder what simple changes I can make to the calorie intake that I start my day off with. I have at least 4 cups of coffee a day.

My wonderful cousin gave me some weights, a 21 day Hollywood trainer makeover book, a jump rope and an other Jillian Micheal DVD. I am excited to sit down and read the trainer book.

I know that following a healthy diet is key to success in weight loss but how do you make meals that your kids with eat? Carter hates pretty much everything and Oliver pretty much just hates my cooking.

My goal is to start this massive overhaul on Monday. Lord help me.

This is why....

Here we go...

So....here I am.
I need to lose about 15-20 pounds. I know. I know. Nobody can see what I am talking about.
Well, I see it. I am almost 140lbs. In this blog I plan to be painfully honest. I will post pics along the way. Starting with pics of why I am so unhappy with my body.
I do not own a scale.
I do not own any exercise equipment.
I do not have a gym membership.
I own two 2lbs hand weights and a Jillian Michaels 30 minute shred DVD.


I will be doing this in my home. In my neighborhood. With my kids. By myself.


I want to feel good about the way I look. I want more energy to play with my crazy boys. I want to fit in my clothes.


I really want to fit in all my clothes that are hanging in my closet collecting dust.
Along the way, I want people to kick me in the butt if I fall off the wagon.


I quit smoking cold turkey almost three years ago and have never smoked a cigarette since. I should be able to get toned and never look at myself in the mirror and say "gross" again.